Cooking with Mr. Kitty

Kitty Cat Cojones
Serves 1
Cook with Mr. Kitty
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Prep Time
10 min
Cook Time
10 min
Total Time
20 min
Prep Time
10 min
Cook Time
10 min
Total Time
20 min
  1. 1 pair kitty's testicles
  2. Salt and pepper to taste
  3. Lemon juice to garnish
  1. Set up your grill, preferably charcoal, so that there's room on the grill to cook the testicles indirectly.
  2. Salt and pepper the testicles and place them on the grill for 10 to 15 minutes, until the outside surface is nicely charred. The tissue may burst during the process.
  3. When they are done, remove the testicles from the grill and cut into slices 1/3-inch thick. Garnish with lemon juice and more salt and pepper to taste.
Adapted from Grilled Lamb's Testicles
Kitty Recipes!

Whether you raise kitties as livestock or for companionship, there are a plethora of reasons to spay/neuter your kitties. But what to do with Mr. Kitty’s cojones? It seems [i]such[/i] a waste to just throw them away — there must be a better solution… And there is!

The testicles are also referred to as testes; the singular is testis. In Latin, the word testis means “witness”; in ancient Rome it was the custom for men to place one hand on a testicle when taking an oath in court.

“Not all gentalia is good to eat… Penis is often made into chew toys for dogs because it is nearly impossible to digest unless it’s stewed for a long time, in which case the vascular tissue breaks down into a gluey, flaccid mess of a dish with virtually no flavor.”

“Testicles, on the hand, are extremely good to eat. Bigger is not always better. Duck testicles, which take the size and general shape of kumquats, are more tender and delicately flavored than those of lamb, which are more like small avocados. While duck testicles do not taste particularly ducky, lamb testicles are unmistakably lamby with a pungent, grassy smell and a offal-intensive taste that’s akin to stomach. Their texture is almost identical to that of a succulent scallop.”


“There are two main options to consider when cooking kitty testicles. If you are primarily concerned with flavor, then grilling the testicles imparts a smokiness that complements the gamey undertone of the glands. Grilling also offers the advantage of retaining the testicles in their whole form. The outer membrane not only crisps and chars on the grilll, it also keeps the testicles juicy as they cook.”


Here are some recipes to show you how to properly cook your kitty’s castrated clangers. 


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