Kitty Size and Health

I’ve gotten a few emails from my readers that the proportion of kitty doesn’t come out quite right at the end.

One thing to keep in mind is that kitties’ body compositions are highly variable. For example, one pound of very lazy kitty (i.e., “fat cat”) will have a much higher ratio of fat to meat. On the other end of the spectrum, a malnourished kitty will be mostly skin and bone and will look unappetizing anyway. For this website, the amount of kitty meat (aka “feline flesh”) disclosed in the recipes is based on a healthy, normal kitty. A more active and healthy-sized kitty will have the right proportions of fat and lean meat. A good reference to see if your kitty is of healthy size is posted below (click for big!). Keep your kitty well-fed, active, and healthy and it will provide you a delicious meal!



Happy kitty cooking, and keep the questions coming!

Question: Tenderness of Bobtail Cats

Note the short tail

Bobtail Cat – note the short tail

Recently, I received a question from a new reader:

                     Q: I know of a bobtail cat that is constantly annoying me and is just begging to be eaten. Given that it’s lacking a tail, does that affect anything? Cooking times? Any special instructions?


                     A: The general rule with regards to the tenderness of kitty meat is to observe their tail length! It may seem strange or bizarre at first that there is such a correlation, but the reason is simple. A kitty’s tail helps to stabilize its movements and provides a counterbalance mechanism so that its center of gravity is stable. Bobcats have either a very short tail or no tail at all, which means that they have to make up for their balancing abilities in other ways. Thus, bobcats use their stabilizing muscles in their core and their legs much more than those of long-tailed cats. Unfortunately, this means that bobcat meat is a little tougher than that of other cats. See the science behind this in the article: What Makes Meat Juicy and Tender?

Not all is lost, though; bobcats can definitely still be made tender and delicious. One way is to slow cook the meat. Much like beef chuck or other cuts that are mostly tough muscle, you can use slow, moist cooking methods (e.g., stewing or braising) to break down the tough connective tissue (called “collagen”) and convert the collagen into gelatin. I will be posting a recipe for this soon.

A second way to deal with tough meat is to massage the cat on a regular basis! Bobtail cats and other short-tailed cats must constantly be activating their stabilizing muscles to balance themselves as they move. Thus, they appreciate long massages to soothe their sore muscles, just like you and I. This also has the effect of breaking down collagen so their meat is more tender. You may liken this to the massaging of Kobe beef cows which command a high price due to their tenderness and succulence. Although the massaging of Kobe beef is actually a commonly-held myth (what farmer has the time to massage each cow in a herd of hundreds??), the principle is still the same and holds true for cows and kitties.

So go massage your bobtail kitties! They love it and this way you can feel a more personal connection to your dish at mealtime! I hope this was helpful! Happy eating!

Wait, is it actually legal to eat kitties??

I’ve gotten a few questions from readers, asking in some form or another, is it actually legal to eat kitties?

The short answer, if you are in the US, is “probably!”

If your cat is anything like the cats I know, they are possessive, greedy, and wasteful. In one case, fellow cat connoisseur Gary Korkuc gave exactly that same reason when police in Western New York pulled him over for running a stop sign.

Police found a live kitty in the trunk of his car, marinating in cooking oil, chili peppers, crushed red peppers, and salt.  I wonder what delicious meal he was planning on having that night!  

States such as Missouri have very few restrictions on when, why, and how an owner can kill his pet. In these areas, you may go hog wild in preparing a meal out of Mittens.

Unfortunately, the state of New York prohibits “any person to slaughter or butcher domesticated dog (canis familiaris) or domesticated cat (felis catus or domesticus) to create food, meat or meat products for human or animal consumption. However, you will notice that only the slaughter or butchery itself is prohibited. So if you can find kitty (or dog) flesh at your local Asian market, you will probably be in the clear.

In California, the law is a little bit more strict. California bars possession of the carcass of cats and dogs. Similarly, Virginia bars the unnecessary killing of an animal. However, if you can find a way to keep the kitty alive while harvesting its meat, it seems as if you’ll have the law on your side. Note that bile bears in China serve a similar role – bile is harvested through permanent holes made in caged bears’ abdomens and gall bladders. If you can find a way to keep your furry feline friend alive while harvesting its meat, it’ll be a neat way to circumvent this law! If you’ve found a way to do this (all my own experiments have failed), or even to grow kitty meat in vitro, leave a note in the comments! I’m interested in hearing from you!

Anyway, all this is information that I’ve gleaned from the internet. I am not a lawyer and this website does not dispense legal advice and is not engaged in the practice of law. Happy eating!